10 Commandments for Movie Theater Patrons aka Etiquette for how to watch a movie
Back when our grandparents would go to the movies, they would dress up to the nines. Men would wear suits, the women would wear dresses and it would be classy event. When the inception of home theater made it into the American Household, a lot of etiquette went out the window when attending a movie. People talk out loud like they are at home, kids cry, bags of chips or candy wrappers crinkle… echoing through the theater, the cell phones, annoying teenagers; the list goes on and on. I’m sure you have your own annoying incident, please insert here _______________.
Well, enough’s enough people. With tickets rising past $10, let those that want to enjoy the movie, enjoy it.
Here’s a top 10 list of what a movie goer wants:
10. Shut off your damn phone.
If you’re a doctor, parent out for the night or absolutely need to have it on in case of emergency, set it to silence, stun or turn it off. There’s nothing more irritating when it’s a serious moment in a movie and you have some jackass’s phone go off.
9. If the phone does go off, leave the theater.
If I have to hear the whole conversation that you had to interrupt my movie going experience for I reserve the right to throw things at you. Get your lazy butt up out of your seat and go talk in the hallway or lobby. Same rule applies for texting. The glow is distracting and annoying. TURN IT OFF!!!!
8. Remember the whisper.
Please don’t have a loud conversation with the person next to you. If you miss what’s going on and have to recap what’s going on don’t give a replay for the whole 4 rows surrounding you to hear.
7. Babies and small children – leave them at home.
If you can’t find a sitter, most new theaters have child care centers at very reasonable rates. Nothing is more irritating when you have a baby start crying. People go out to get away from troubles for a short time. Don’t ruin their movie going experience because you don’t want to spring for a sitter.
6. Ratings System – they are there for a reason.
Speaking of babies and small children, nothing is more irritating and horrifying when you bring kids into a PG-13 or R movie. If you think it’s ok for your child to watch movies like Saw 20 or Bruno you really need to talk a close look at your parenting skills. Start investing in a shrink because kids don’t need to be exposed to that shit. Just saying.
5. Outside food – leave it there.
So you’re watching a movie and it gets to a quiet part. The jackass in front of you pulls out a paper bag of whatever drive-thru he just came through. Not only does it smell like burgers but the crinkling of the paper and bag echoes through the theater. Newsflash: Here’s a little known fact about movie theaters. That $10 you just spent on a movie ticket does not entitle you to bring in your own food. The theater doesn’t get really any of that admission price. They make their money off the concession items. Yes it is expensive but when you are only making 5¢ a ticket, you need to supplement the operating costs somehow, right? Thus, the high prices at concession. So where does the rest of your ticket price go? It goes to the studios, distributors, actors, and everyone else involved in making the movie. A lot goes into making a movie. Stop bitching about the prices and respect the craft.
4. Rocking in your seat.
Nothing is more irritating when you are trying to watch a movie and the person in front of you is moving, rocking or shifting around and hitting your legs. If you can’t sit still, get up and go walk around outside. P.S. This is not a place to demonstrate what you learn in kickboxing class. Kicking the seat in front of you is not considered target practice.
3. Hygiene – the good, bad & ugly
You are in close proximity to people. Be respectful and floss your teeth, wear deodorant, shower, wear clean clothes. Nothing is worse when the person you don’t know next to you keeps breathing and they have the worst breath in the world. Or they smell like a Sasquash or Homeless person. Be kind, don’t stink.
2. Clean up after yourself.
Repeat after me. This is not a restaurant. I am not at home. I will clean up after myself if I order food. Those ushers are making minimum wage. Be respectful.
1. Leave the drugs & booze at home. Nothing is worst when you have to watch a movie with a bunch of drunks, high off their ass or people that reek of pot or smoke. Really? Is it that bad that you have to do drugs or drink in public? There are some dinner theaters that welcome that, but seriously? Get the hell out of the theater and go get fucked up somewhere else.
Just follow these 10 simple guidelines and watch your movie going experience be more enjoyable!
September 12, 2009 - Posted by TheReelCritic | entertainment news, movies, now playing, Uncategorized | cell phones, crying baby, etiquette, home theater, movie ratings, movie theater, popcorn, rude people, texting, ticket prices
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